‘Twas the day before Christmas, and poor old Saint Nick
Was lying at home in his bed, very sick.
He sneezed and he coughed and his throat was quite sore.
His temperature rose to one hundred and four!
The doctor said, “Santa, you can’t possibly go
On your sleigh ride tonight in the wind and the snow.
You’re far, far too sick. You must stay in bed.”
“But who will deliver the presents instead?”
Groaned Santa. “It’s Christmas! The girls and the boys
Must wake up tomorrow to a house full of toys!
Someone must load up my jolly old sleigh,
Harness the reindeer, and fly it away.
“Someone must slide down each chimney with care,
And fill up the stockings the kids have hung there.
Someone must place the gifts under the tree.
Who else could do it? It has to be me!”
But the doctor was firm. “You must rest yourself.
We’ll just have to find a substitute elf.”
And so Mrs. Claus and the doctor began
To interview elves, every woman and man.
They had to find a substitute quick
To save Christmas Eve for poor old Saint Nick.
But they soon found out it was no easy task—
There was a big problem with each elf they asked.
Tom couldn’t drive. Dom hated the dark.
Chester could drive, but he just couldn’t park.
Keeley got lonely. Lill always got lost.
Jessamine’s hands turned blue in the frost.
Bree was too little. Bill hated heights.
Mona got scared if a space was too tight.
Waldo Elf liked getting lost in a crowd.
Rock and Roll Elf was much, much too loud.
Giantess Elf was simply too big.
Bulldozer Elf could do nothing but dig.
Mrs. Claus said, “Well, there’s just one person left:
Ninja Elf, who protects us from theft.”
Ninja Elf was a mysterious guy
Who wore a black hood that showed only his eyes.
He listened politely as Mrs. Claus said,
“We need you to fly Santa’s jolly old sled
“And deliver the toys for Christmas tonight.
Can you do it? Will you?” And the elf said, “All right.”
He bowed very low and then sprinted away.
He called the elf workers to load up the sleigh
While he harnessed the reindeer, from Rudolph to Donner.
He had to work fast to save Santa Claus’ honor!
When all was made ready, he jumped to the seat
And urged on the reindeer with their fast flying feet.
They leaped into the air, and the sleigh followed too.
Above the North Pole they galloped and flew.
As fast as a jet they sped into the night,
And in a very few minutes the first house came in sight.
Ninja Elf sprang down very nimbly,
And like a black shadow crept down the first chimney.
He carefully listened but did not hear a sound.
He crawled out of the fireplace and then slid around
The wall of each room ‘til he came to the tree.
He unplugged the lights, and in the darkness then he
Pulled all of the presents from his big, black sack.
He arranged them neatly in a pyramid stack,
Then replugged the lights and snuck back toward the door.
Oh no! All the stockings fell down to the floor!
He had to rehang them! But what could he do?
He had no nails, no tape, no glue—
But he did have three shuriken, sharp throwing stars.
He tacked up the stockings and filled them with cars,
And candy, and cute little dolls.
Santa would be proud—he had just decked the halls!
First mission accomplished, he went back to the sleigh,
And they flew off to visit the next house on the way.
No one heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight—
Ninjas don’t shout; they blend into the night.
And that is the story, if you choose to believe,
Of how Ninja Elf went and saved Christmas Eve.
I have told you the tale with these cookies of ginja
To celebrate Santa’s own brave Christmas Ninja.